WTF Wednesday: Week Eight

Surprise! It's Not All Bad News This Week!

Hello, Friend,

Welcome to Liberation Day! Yes, any remaining shred of sanity will be duly disposed of at 4 o’clock this afternoon. The next person who informs me they vote Republican because they’re fiscal conservatives will be cordially invited to kiss my sassy ass.

On the upside, we’re happy to report that along with the usual fetid filth spewing forth from the bowels of hell The White House there are a few sparkling gems of sorely needed good news. We’ll take any bits of joy we can get these days! Without further adieu, let’s dig into the detritus in search of dazzling diamonds deep in the disgusting discharge for a (slightly) less disturbing dumpster dive of WTF!

Phew.

For a piping hot dish served with a side of cheddar, MElon’s considerable effort to buy himself a seat on the Wisconsin Supreme Court fell gloriously flat. Phony Stark appears to have lost his mystique along with any remaining shred of dignity. Turns out trading his Dark MAGA cap for a foam rubber cheese head and handing out giant checks while maniacally decimating the American Dream isn’t the flex he thought it was. Between this, the precipitous fall of ‘Tesler’, and the whole deadbeat Dad sperm donor thing, it’s not looking good for Mr. X or his weird little VP buddy Guy Liner who can’t seem to stop opening mouth and inserting foot.

They’re so bad at this it’s painful. For them and for us.

Is there anyone in the Magaverse who can maintain the mysterious spell of the Tawny Twatwaffle?

My sources say no.

(And by sources I mean my oft mentioned Magic 8 Ball.)

Here’s to a freer and fairer Wisconsin and, dare we hope, a few shiny new Democratic seats for the House in 2026! HUZZAH!

Senator Cory Booker, Official Portrait 2015 US Senate PUBLIC DOMAIN WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

O, Frabjous Day! Democrats are getting the memo! Senator Cory Booker rocked the Senate with a record setting filibuster yesterday. Not only did he stand and speak for over 25 hours without a potty break or a Scooby snack, he spoke truth to power with purpose and eloquence. This writer caught the last hour and is not afraid to admit that it caught her right in the feels. Tears flowed, cheers emanated, applause rang forth, and for one brief shining moment that magnificent feeling of unbridled joy from last summer welled back up again! More of this, please and thank you!

Seriously, thank you, Senator Booker, King of the Filibuster! Well done!

And now for the flip side of this week’s WTF…we’re appalled at the evolving news about multiple innocent men who were shaved, shackled, and shipped off to El Salvador with no more than a shrug from the felonious officials running this half assed anti-immigration side show.

We did an oopsie! Ha ha! Oh well, nothing we can do now.

Oh, really? Nothing? Nothing you can do? We’re dishing out 6 million dollars for your crimes against humanity along with whatever the rest of this performative bullshit (including that heinous infomercial starring Cosplay Karen) costs. You damn well can do something. People aren’t props for your puerile perfidy.

Ask Duterte what happens when you thumb your nose at international law.

Oh well, nothing he can do now.

Speaking of international relations, no one is allowed to speak ill of Dear Leader, not if they want to visit this American Carnage. The former president of Costa Rica and Nobel Prize winner Oscar Arias had his visa revoked this week. Why, you may ask? Because he had the audacity to suggest that the Mad King is ‘acting like a Roman Emperor.’ I thought men loved thinking about the Roman Empire? What’s the problem, Con-igula? More First Amendment defying censorship from the freedumb party.

Still think ‘woke’ is the problem, Bill Maher? Cancel culture got your knickers in a twist? Did your lips hurt when you kissed the ring, you whiny little bitch?

Sigh.

But enough of this slop, we need more of that joy!

Dr. Schnabel of Rome, 2017 (based on Paul Fürst's circa 1656 copper engraving) DV8stees Creative Commons 4.0 WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

With RFKanyoufreakingbelievethisguy sending us hurtling back in time to the Dark Ages where magic spells, bloodletting, and trepanning were all the rage, it’s comforting to know science is still managing to make some progress. Researchers at Auburn University made a breakthrough Alzheimer’s Disease discovery through physics. “We’ve found that neurons use a type of natural force based on entropy — like an invisible glue — to keep their connections strong,” said Dr. Gramlich. When this force is disrupted, the connections are broken and this may be the key to early detection and more effective treatments. THIS is yet another reason why funding scientific research matters more than performative pandering.

I could go on, but one can only digest so much WTF on any given Wednesday. Fear not, my friend, we’ll get to the overflow on FFS! Friday! By then we’ll know exactly what Liberation Day has wrought.

Woot.

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