Oh, Hello.
I really need to post more often.
I find my life tends to flow in different directions at different times. I’d like to claim some lofty rationale for this, but it’s likely the hyperfocus part of my undiagnosed ADHD.
I know, you’re thinking, “Is there anyone who doesn’t have ADHD these days?”
Yes, there is, but it ain’t me, babe. I’m most definitely operating with an attention deficit.
The ironic thing about this is that I’m very good at being very focused on one very specific thing at the expense of all the other things. (This is not unusual for folks with ADHD.) For a long time it was writing. I love writing. Words bring me joy. Arranging them into sentences and paragraphs brings me joy. In my wayward youth, I particularly enjoyed writing obtuse poems about a series of unfortunate relationships with pretty men who liked themselves far more than they ever liked me. When I wasn’t writing ‘sad lovelorn’ or ‘spicy sexy’ poems I wrote poems about writing poems or poems about feeling general angst or poems about random thoughts that flittered through my brain. I once wrote a poem about having pyrokinesis for a day. I called that one Little Fires. It’s a good poem, as poems go.
I think I was a decent poet. I was oft published in my university literary magazine. This validated my inner poet, but perhaps she was deluded. She had terrible taste in men.
At the time of my poetry obsession, I was pursuing a degree in theatre. So, technically, I was doing more than one thing at a time. I was acting in classical theatre productions, working as a waitress part time, writing obtuse poems, dating various aforementioned pretty men who held me at arm’s length (metaphorically speaking), and being an excellent student. I could go to school for the rest of my life and be happy. I love learning. It’s part of the hyperfocus thing. It also gives my insatiable curiosity an outlet.
“Where is this going?” You may be asking yourself.
I’m not sure, but I’m circling the core point.
For the past year and some months I have been hyper-focused on learning to paint. I have been artistically inclined since I was a small child, but I’ve never given art my full focus. There are gifted artists on both sides of my family tree. After failing spectacularly at an array of things over the past 13 years, I feel like art may be the last trick left lingering in my proverbial bag. Or maybe I have no tricks. Maybe I never did. Perhaps my delusions of tricksiness are illusions at best. Please don’t tell my inner poet.
I think I’m making some tangible progress on the paint journey. This is a good thing. My art, much like the artist, is quirky and irreverent. I find it difficult to take myself too seriously these days. I’m feeling a little itchy though, so I’m going to try a new trick. Doing more than one thing! Yes, I’m going to be art-ing and writing! I make no promises on frequency of posts, but I do promise to give it my all…or my part…when I’m not focused on painting. Ta da! Look Ma, I made it!
Cheers,
Madge